Note: This is a guest post by my good friend, Kathy McNair.

Love and marriage is indeed a ministry. Now I know you’re probably wondering why I’m writing about marriage and this is a blog geared towards single moms. That is a valid point. The truth is that I still believe in strong, godly marriages even though my first marriage didn’t turn out the way I had dreamed. Marriage God’s way is a beautiful thing! That is my desire one day. I would love to have a relationship with God as the center, and where the love of God can be glorified as others watch our relationship bring honor to Him. 

I’m sure other single moms reading my blog would desire the same thing. As I pondered writing about this very topic, one person came to my mind (my dear friend Mrs. Kathy). Over the years, I’ve watched her go from being a single mom of teenagers busy serving the Lord, to one day courting (and later marrying) her sweet husband Roger. I asked Kathy to share her story with us here on the blog, and without hesitation she agreed.

I hope you would be encouraged by the testimony of my dear friend. If it is your wish to someday be married (or remarried like me🥰), it’s never too late to dream. Wait patiently on the Lord for your imperfectly perfect marriage.😍

Her Beautiful Story Begins

My name is Kathy. I grew up with Christian parents that love the Lord and saw the importance of a family devotions. As a result of the family devotions at the age of 8, I accepted Christ as my Savior. Growing up, I would watch my parent’s love for the Lord and each other and always wanted a husband that loved the Lord, saw God is just about everything, and that would love me as Christ loved the church.

I married my first husband at the age of 21. We had three wonderful children, and had been married for 20 years when God called him home.

After 6 years of being a single mom, I prayed if it was God’s will that I remarry to give me a husband that first loved the Lord and we could serve Him together; second that he would be a family man; and third if he was a handy man that would be great. I received all three and much more when the Lord gave me Roger.

While BJ, my first husband, did love the Lord, this is a story of my life with Roger, My Imperfectly Perfect Husband. I met Roger when we were in high school. Although, I went with Roger to his senior banquet, it wasn’t until 28 years later that we actually started dating.

A Biblical Definition of True Love

I have heard messages all my life on marriage using Ephesians chapter 5. Yes, I agree with that chapter on a wife being submissive to her husband and a husband loving his wife as Christ love the church. But I would like to take another verse and tell my beautiful love story: Philippians 4:8.

“Finally, Brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

I say imperfect husband because there was only one person that was perfect that walked this earth and that was our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ. Roger was perfect for me. 

Roger had his faults though I can’t remember any of them. I chose and continue to choose to think on the things in Philippians in our marriage.

God’s Fruit Displayed

True – Not long after we were married Leigh, my baby daughter, just learning to drive, went to move the SUV for Roger to mow the front yard. She did not know the lawn mower was behind the truck and ran over the mower. She came inside frightened as she sat down on the couch. My daughter was about to tell me what happen when Roger came in. He looked at her and said “It’s just a mower.” No yelling, no fretting, just a true man with his emotions and temper in check. 

Honest – When Roger and I first married, he worked as a machine adjuster and supervisor for an envelope plant. After 30 years of doing this type of work, the plant where he worked closed. Roger started working at Havard Pest Control. he had a training period where he did not receive production/ commission pay. When he started receiving production, the policy at Havard was you hourly pay was lowered by a dollar an hour. The production pay would more than make up the difference of the loss of the dollar an hour. He started receiving his production, but his hourly rate did not decrease. When we noticed the rate did not decrease, Roger notified the payroll department, and he began to pay back the extra pay. 

Just – The meaning of just, as an adjective, based on or behaving according to what is morally right and fair. Not long after we were married Dr. S.M. Davis came to our church. He preached a message one night on husbands. Dr. Davis made the statement that when you husbands were dating your wives, you would open the doors for her and treat her as a queen. Roger took that message to heart.

From that night until he became ill, Roger would always open the doors for me. We were out doing bus visiting, I asked Roger to let me open my car door since we had so many stops to make. He agreed and allowed me to open the doors until the last house was visited and he would again open the door. One Saturday Michael, Roger’s youngest son, who would visit with us, was trying to prove a point that it was senseless to open a door for a lady. He asked why didn’t Roger open the door while we visited. I said to save time. Michael’s response was “Exactly.” Roger told him you open the door because it is right.

Making Home a Taste of Heaven

Pure – I did not have to worry about what Roger was doing, where he was going or who he was with. I knew he would not betray his Lord or his wife. Roger drove to work in a town about 30 minutes away from the house. He had a co-worker, a lady, that did not drive and needed a way to work. Roger would so pick this lady up every morning and take her home every afternoon. There was never a moment that I questioned his purity. I knew he was a pure man. 

Lovely – “Lovely” isn’t generally a term used to describe a man, but men do have “lovely” qualities. The second Mother’s Day we had together, I was not working, and money was tight. We had a Toyota Sequoia that I had bought before we were married and was the vehicle I generally drove. Well, for Mother’s Day that year, he detailed that big Sequoia. Took the middle console apart cleaning each part before putting it back together, vacuumed the entire inside, washed, dried and waxed the outside. This truck looked brand new when he finished. This was kind and loving to me. He chose to be lovely.

Good Report – Roger worked at Murray’s Envelope as a machine mechanic for many years before they closed the envelope department. The owner of Murray’s had two sons that opened another envelope plant and asked Roger to come work for them. Roger had a good report of being a dependable knowledgeable worker. He worked at this plant until they closed their doors. The workers, as well as the bosses, that Roger could be trusted, was reliable and honest.  

Virtue – My parents, especially my dad, were not in good health when Roger and I started dating. One of the times Daddy was in the hospital, Roger and I was talking after church about our parents. He asked if Daddy knew the Lord. A man of virtue asking another man’s relationship with the Lord. 

Roger taught my girls how to change the tire on a car and assisted Beth on changing the oil in her car. Not because he didn’t want to, but because in his words he may not be around to do it for them.   

Praise – Roger gave all Praise to the Lord. We were dating I told him how impressed I was with the way he was raising his boys. His reply was, “It wasn’t me. I had lots of help from the Lord and the church.”

Roger and I worked together to make our home Heaven on Earth. It was not just one giving and taking it was both. We did little things for each other. When we first married, while he was dressing, for work I would fix his breakfast and lunch. After he started working with Havard Pest Control and we would leave about the same time, he would start breakfast and pack his lunch while I finished dressing; then I would pack my lunch and get our vitamins ready for the day. We worked together as a team. There was no his job, my job; his money, my money. It was ours. Even when I was not working it was still ours. His house became our home. 

While I could have dwelt on all the imperfect qualities of Roger, which I stated before I can not remember any, that would not have resulted in me having an imperfectly perfect husband. What you chose to look for in your mate will be what you will find.

Kathy accepted the Lord as her Savior at the age of 8 in her home, and shown the way of salvation by her mother. She learned to see God in everything from her dad. She has attended church all of her life. Kathy graduated high school from Central Baptist School in 1982 where she met her husband Roger. She became a member of Central Baptist Church in 1999.  Kathy is a resident of Hattiesburg MS.